As a yogi – apologies for the wanky word – I know how important it is to live in the present, yet I often find myself looking backwards, even if only to see how far I’ve come.
I was tidying my room (you’ve never seen so much dust in your life, I swear) and because I’m easily distracted, I came across a scrapbook my sister gifted to me when I was 18 and started to flick through. Tragic old selfies aside, it gave me a whole mix of feelings. Some were pride at how many things I had done and achieved in my little life but then I turned a page and felt an overwhelming sense of regret about what I saw.
Regret is a terrifying word to me. I hate the thought of having something that I cannot change, eat me up inside to the point of regret and it’s something that I’ve worked hard to avoid. Sure, there are many things I have done in my life that I’m not particularly happy about, most often involving alcohol and men but I think to regret those experiences is a mistake. I’m a big fan of the phrase ‘Everything happens for a reason’ and every time I find myself thinking ‘Urgh, I wish I hadn’t done that’ I make myself think what it’s taught me.
“Everything happens for a reason..”
Perhaps it teaches you what you don’t want in life or maybe it put you down a path that you wouldn’t have taken otherwise and made you the person you are today. I think a positive can always be drawn from these experiences, even if it’s just that you would never do that again, it’s still a lesson! The scrapbook page in question, had potential careers that I wanted to do at the age of 18 and listed on it was law and journalism, two futures I was deciding between to apply to University and in the end, I chose neither. In fact, I scrapped University altogether and although I am so happy I did, there is always that pang of ‘What if?’.
What if I had have studied Law? I would be well on the way to becoming a Barrister. Or Journalism, I may have even scored a full time job at a magazine by now. But would I be happy? Maybe, but maybe not. I’m not saying I’m at an optimal stage in my life, I’m still a struggling Actress trying to make something of my life but I truly believe where we all are right now, is exactly where we are meant to be. And nothing kills your happiness faster than dwelling on what if’s. If you truly want to change your path, do it! But if not, don’t let regret destroy where you are right now.
Do you have regrets? Or are you a live in the moment kind of person? Let me know your tips!