I would like to preface this by saying I do not mean to cause offence to any religion nor claim that any relationship with mixed beliefs will not work. In fact, I am the biggest advocate for letting people just do their thing, judgement free. Now that’s out of the way, lets take a dreaded trip down memory lane.
My first ever relationship was with S at the age of 14 until around 20 (the lines blur greatly towards the end). I don’t talk about it a whole lot, not because its particularly painful, but because it feels like another life. I was a baby then and I have grown and changed greatly as a person.
It started as the perfect childhood sweetheart relationship and remained this way for the first few years. We loved each other very much and I thought I would marry this man. In fact, I think he was close to proposing multiple times. He wrote me love letters and showered me in cute, thoughtful gifts and it was as vomit inducing as you might expect. But it also had a very dark side and that side was religion. S was Christian and for the first few years this meant he had the occasional church visit and went to a Christian camp in the summer, no big deal.
But then, something clicked in his head and he went almost devout Christian over night. Sex was suddenly banned, Church was a bi-weekly occurrence and he starting forcing his beliefs on me. Anyone who knows me, knows that is not a good idea. I respect other beliefs but forcing any ideology on me, especially one that isn’t particularly inclusive towards certain people in society, is really not going to go down well. I fully understand that not all Christians are like this, but my experience was one that was very negative toward homosexuality, sex before marriage, other religions and worse, atheists. I made an effort to go to church with him once to prove I was open minded and it put me off for life.
Of course, this caused a massive strain. He had become a person I no longer recognised and I couldn’t be with someone whose views were so derogatory of others, purely because some book tells him so. And that right there, was the beginning of the end. We had blazing rows and inevitably it ended on quite bad terms. I even had to delete my previous blog because I knew any dating stories I wanted to write about would be up for instant judgement and would mean I was destined for hell in his books! So that was that. A childhood romance that hit adulthood like a car crash, and I now avoid churches at all costs.
I would love to hear if anyone has similar experiences or, even better, if you are in a relationship with mixed beliefs and how that works for you!